Bad Commentary Tracks

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Eric Paddon
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Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2005 5:49 pm

Bad Commentary Tracks

#1 Post by Eric Paddon »

I feel compelled to start a thread devoted to the subject of bad commentary tracks on movies in light of my last two attempts to try and listen to one that in both instances resulted in me shutting them off in disgust after a few minutes when I realized that someone totally unqualified to do a commentary track had been hired for the effort. I have heard flawed commentary tracks from people who get pretentious but are at least admittedly knowledgable (Redman and Kirgo), but these were two cases where a vetting process should have been required.

1-From the old Abbott and Costello DVD set, I tried to listen to a commentary for one of their better films, "Who Done It?" The commentator is Frank from MST3K and I'm already feeling a little uncertain though he introduces himself as a big A+C fan. But then right away I know I've got trouble when he won't identify the actors in a scene before the duo appear. The final straw was when he goes "I don't know the name of this guy" for an actor who plays a bellboy who keeps getting the best of Costello several times in the course of the film. Honestly, you'd think the guy could do some HOMEWORK before doing this? If you're going to do commentary for a film, there should be a familiarity of who the people are because I'm trusting you to be an "expert" on things but when you haven't done something that only requires reading an imdb entry before telling me I should rewatch the film listening to you, you're really proving inadequate to the task.

2-On the new Blu-Ray of "23 Paces To Baker Street" (an interesting blind buy with echoes of "Rear Window" and a climax that foreshadows "Wait Until Dark") there is a commentary track by a film historian who offers a reminder that if you're going to hire someone to talk for the length of a film, then HIRE SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO SPEAK COHERENTLY! Instead they hire a guy who talks in a sleepy monotone who also never seems sure of what to say because in ten minutes the things I heard most were "umm...." followed by a pause and "ummmm" and endless meandering and little about getting to the point of the production of the film. When you hear "ummm" and pauses over and over for ten minutes it will try anyone's patience.

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Monterey Jack
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Location: Walpole, MA

Re: Bad Commentary Tracks

#2 Post by Monterey Jack »

Tim Burton's commentary tracks are some of the most narcolepsy-inducing ones I've ever suffered through, with Sleepy Hollow featuring one of my favorite examples of useless accompaniment I can think of:

"This is a cool shot. I'm not exactly sure why..." [long pause, laughs] :roll:

I think even Burton realized this after a while, because I can't think of a movie he's done commentary for since Big Fish (where at least there was someone else present to poke him with a sharp stick occasionally :lol: ).

Generally, if there's more than three gaps of silence lasting more than a minute at a time within the first 15 minutes of a commentary, I switch it off. Mel Gibson's one for Braveheart is especially spotty...despite the film's three-hour running time, I wouldn't be surprised if he delivered more than a hour's worth of talk. SAY SOMETHING...!!! :x

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AndyDursin
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Re: Bad Commentary Tracks

#3 Post by AndyDursin »

This is so hard because there are so many bad ones, and I write them up all the time, I have a hard time now coming up with one in particular that's worth mentioning! lol

Anything by Annette Insdorf, though, immediately comes to mind as being especially terrible :lol:

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Paul MacLean
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Re: Bad Commentary Tracks

#4 Post by Paul MacLean »

On balance I like John Boorman's commentary track on Excalibur, tho there are a few maddening instances where he launches into a fascinating anecdote, only to get distracted by a scene in the film and abandon a potentially interesting story for throwaway comments like "Oh, there's that actor from Star Trek again".

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AndyDursin
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Re: Bad Commentary Tracks

#5 Post by AndyDursin »

I have not heard this track, but this terrific review of the new MEPHISTO WALTZ Blu-Ray is hilarious for this analysis alone:
Extras include two commentary tracks. First, film historian Bill Cooke does a good job of filling us in on the scenes that are missing from THE MEPHISTO WALTZ’s first cut...and a lousy job of going off into excruciatingly trivial minutia (who the hell cares how many bedrooms there are in “stately Wayne Manor?”). Way too much info on tangents (the original book and its author) instead of the movie, before Cooke turns performer and does a cringe-worthy reading from Jurgen’s autobiography (I’m genuinely curious of how this stuff gets onto a disc?).
:lol: Kudos to reviewer Paul Mavis, whose reviews are always a good read, but especially with this terrible movie:

http://www.dvddrive-in.com/reviews/i-m/ ... z71blu.htm

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