NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE (1986) - My God...
Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:39 pm
From my column this week:
I had never previously seen NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE (97 mins., 1986, R), a VHS staple that starred a pre-“Full House” John Stamos as a college student whose secret-agent dad (George Lazenby!) is killed by a hermaphrodite criminal genius (Gene Simmons!) wanting to poison the city’s water supply. Before you can say “Gymkata,” Stamos applies his mad gymnastics skills to his newfound role as James Bond Jr., teaming up with dad’s prior partner (Vanity!) as they ransack warehouses in search of Simmons’ “Velvet Von Ragnar,” who enjoys performing sexually suggestive songs at biker bars whenever he/she’s not trying to take over the world.
This utterly bizarre B-movie somehow bridges the earnestness and production quality of an Afterschool Special with an R-rated exploitation picture that mixes elements of James Bond films and Mad Max rip-offs. It’s a one-of-a-kind entertainment – horribly directed, amateurishly written and unintentionally hilarious – that’s understandably maintained its status as an out-of-print cult favorite for decades.
With the old Academy VHS release still fetching decent coin on the secondary market, Shout Factory made a wise call issuing this one on Blu-Ray in a combo pack that includes a solid 1080p (1.85) catalog transfer licensed through MGM. The 2.0 DTS MA stereo sound is fairly boisterous, with a TV spot and terrible looking VHS transfer on-tap as an easter egg. While Stamos and Simmons have been receptive to talking about this cinematic turkey, the sole extra is a commentary by “pop culture historian” Russell Dyball.
Entertainment Tonight reports!
I had never previously seen NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE (97 mins., 1986, R), a VHS staple that starred a pre-“Full House” John Stamos as a college student whose secret-agent dad (George Lazenby!) is killed by a hermaphrodite criminal genius (Gene Simmons!) wanting to poison the city’s water supply. Before you can say “Gymkata,” Stamos applies his mad gymnastics skills to his newfound role as James Bond Jr., teaming up with dad’s prior partner (Vanity!) as they ransack warehouses in search of Simmons’ “Velvet Von Ragnar,” who enjoys performing sexually suggestive songs at biker bars whenever he/she’s not trying to take over the world.
This utterly bizarre B-movie somehow bridges the earnestness and production quality of an Afterschool Special with an R-rated exploitation picture that mixes elements of James Bond films and Mad Max rip-offs. It’s a one-of-a-kind entertainment – horribly directed, amateurishly written and unintentionally hilarious – that’s understandably maintained its status as an out-of-print cult favorite for decades.
With the old Academy VHS release still fetching decent coin on the secondary market, Shout Factory made a wise call issuing this one on Blu-Ray in a combo pack that includes a solid 1080p (1.85) catalog transfer licensed through MGM. The 2.0 DTS MA stereo sound is fairly boisterous, with a TV spot and terrible looking VHS transfer on-tap as an easter egg. While Stamos and Simmons have been receptive to talking about this cinematic turkey, the sole extra is a commentary by “pop culture historian” Russell Dyball.
Entertainment Tonight reports!