Great summation Eric, which I would basically agree with on every major point.
We've had many discussions on
THE LOST WORLD, in fact here's my most recent rant on it from earlier this summer (in the JURASSIC WORLD REBIRTH thread):
https://www.andyfilm.com/mboard/viewtop ... 796#p99796
-Goldblum's character completely useless in the lead role
-Puke-inducing, brownish color scheme with blown out lighting courtesy Janusz Kaminski; I can't think of another movie of its kind that looks as ugly as THE LOST WORLD
-Insipid script with heavy ecological preachifying
-Stupid story structure obviously worked over too many times. To wit:
-The best supporting character (and the only one of note that's developed) ANNOUNCES HE IS LEAVING THE MOVIE AND DOES SO WITH 30 MINUTES LEFT TO GO (RIP Pete Postelthwaite)
-An abundance of unappealing characters across the board (Julianne Moore is lousy also)
-Dinosaurs reach the mainland...and do nothing exciting except run to a gas station and into some family's backyard
-Goldblum's daughter karate-chops a raptor (and people thought III was stupid)
It's absolutely, unarguably one of Spielberg's worst movies. The set-pieces aren't that thrilling, it looks awful, and it goes nowhere. What's worse is that he and Koepp felt they were making improvements to the original JP by dumping Neill and Dern, yet Goldblum was suited only as a supporting character -- he was just all wrong for the lead in that movie and wasn't able to carry it.
Even Williams' score...it's pretty much a wash. The main theme is OK. That's it. I don't think I've ever replayed the album in full since 1997.
I think most of us here agree it's one of Spielberg's career worst. I agree with everything you wrote, but I would add how unrelentingly
ugly the movie is -- the Kaminski cinematography is wretched, bathed in brown and being totally out of sync with the look of the first film.
Spielberg apparently doesn't like the movie either...which is no surprise.
JPIII ended up being great in a "Jaws 2" kind of way. Not as good as the original but entertaining.
III is very much like the new JURASSIC WORLD: REBIRTH as the latter provides an unpretentious, action-oriented throwback to the first "Jurassic Park" and drops all the baggage from the JURASSIC WORLD trilogy that preceded it. Gareth Edwards is a good director and the set-pieces are terrific and well-executed. It's not
great but I liked it very much in the same way that I liked III. It's notably less interested in preachiness and "world building" than it is providing an entertaining survival-adventure.
Whether I finally test the waters with the other films, I just can't say for the moment. I know it'll be back to evil InGen corporation again and I may not be up for that at this point.
The WORLD movies (JURASSIC WORLD, FALLEN KINGDOM, DOMINION) basically play off the "weaponizing dinosaurs" angle that Spielberg desperately wanted to use as a plot device so there are a mix of scheming Hammond family members and evil entrepreneurs as the "heavy" antagonists in those, all trying to figure out how to exploit the dino DNA for their own gain (I think the first JURASSIC WORLD has Vincent D'Onofrio as an overzealous military-industrial complex bad guy; the second one has a guy with "Trump hair"). But not everyone involved with inGen is bad (the Bryce Dallas Howard character works for them and tries to do the right thing for example; the Hammond family member dabbling in DNA in the second JURASSIC WORLD has an emotional reason for doing so, etc.).
But do they need to be seen? Not really. The first one of those is "okay", the second one veers off into an odd "dinosaur in the old dark house" genre that people didn't like (but I thought was passable), but the 3rd one -- which assembles both casts in a bloated and badly handled finale -- is a total bust.
You're probably best just watching REBIRTH as it's a standalone film that doesn't involve a viewing from its predecessors (beyond having to walk back JURASSIC WORLD's general theme of dinosaurs living on the mainland, all over the place...painting themselves into a corner REBIRTH works its way out of).